(BE WARNED... All my stories are long. One of my college degrees is in Mass Communication and be advised that MASS means I provide a lot of detail which typically irritates Millennials, Engineering types, Geeks and folks with ADHD...
#1. I'm back (sort of) but busy.
#2. At 43,551 miles on Volt "Dusty Too" (my second Volt) I had a flat in a rural area having no cell service. The indicator on my "instrument panel" showed my right front tire was loosing air RAPIDLY. I'm nearly 6 years into driving two Volts now and this is the first flat I've ever had on one while on a trip, and I abuse Volts more than anyone on the planet. (I heard goats in my Volt on two ranches here in Texas....)
#3. I pull off to the side of a country road in total darkness and pull out the gizmo that squirts tire goo and inflates Volt tires. I have never-ever used one in nearly 6 years. Being in rather talk grass and total darkness, I am somewhat concerned about rattlesnakes lurking around, rapid skunks and angry ferrel hogs. Having MS and Polymyalgia Rheumatica, a torn tendon in my right shoulder and generally decrepit to boot, I'm hoping this goo and tire inflater can get me 20 miles back to ranch #1 where I have a spare Volt wheel and a new Michelin somewhere in the barn.
#4. I get the tire inflator out of the back of Dusty Too. It was difficult and painful because I had two each 50 pound bags of goat food in back, with my other stuff I lug around. I can't see much of anything and I only know that I have 2 pound of air in the right front tire, according to my "instrument panel" (I'm a pilot and I have no idea what you call the "instrument panel" in a Volt, where it shows the tires and all that other info.
$5. I squirt the goo and add some air to the front right tire. Low and behold, the little air compressor that comes with the Volt works very well and by the illumination provided by my iPhone 7 Plus, I see the goo going through the inflator tube. I'm feeling fairly confident I might be able to make the last 20 miles home. I'm also feeling somewhat suspicious that a couple of toothless ******** are walking up behind me over an old railroad track (no longer in service) and that one of them is going to say "squeal like a pig."
With some difficulty, I am able to aim my massive iPhone 7 Plus at the tire (it's hard to hold both the iPhone, the air compressor and be down on my knees with a ruptured Baker's Cyst in my right knee, whilst looking over my shoulder for red necks) but I see my tire now has 50 pounds of pressure and I quickly (well as fast as I can with arthritic hands) unscrew the tube from the inflator, toss it in the passenger side floor board and I get back in the driver's seat and get ready to drive off before red necks chewing tobacco, rattle snakes or rapid skunks can mess with me.
#6. Much to my dismay, I see that my instrument panel is showing "ZERO" air pressure in my right front tire. I risk my life to get out of the Volt, look at the right front tire, press on it and it feels rock solid and isn't flat. "What the devil" I say to myself... And then I walk (on a moonless night, with an iPhone not happy because it has 18% energy left) and I see that my RIGHT REAR TIRE is as flat as a pancake.
#7 or 8, I can't remember where I am now... I am mad as Hell at my dealership because the idiots OBVIOUSLY did not reprogram the TPM things when they did the last oil change and tire rotation, and thus, this is the reason I got a faulty indication that my RIGHT FRON TIRE was flat. (I hate my dealership because they also trashed my interior with oily finger prints on the headliner, sun visor and punctured a small hole in the dash, I have pictures you WON'T BELIEVE, but that is a different story...)
#9? ONSTAR TO THE RESCUE...
I press the blue button hoping that it will work because my iPhone shows "no service" and I can't contact ANYONE with my massive iPhone 7 Plus. (At this point, I'm thinking maybe I can make a fire and send smoke signals. Being a military war vet, I know Morse Code, but I also no I'm in a desolate area, saturated by red necks and hillbillies that probably never finished 6th grade... Moments later, a gal from OnStar says "Hello Sterling Silver, how can I help you?"
#10. I'll shorten this part because it is rather complex, but the OnStar gal "escalates" me to another OnStar gal, I talk to her, she gets a GPS fix on my Volt (I'm thinking she is saying to herself, "What the Hell is that old man doing out there in the middle of nowhere on a "dark and stormy night"... Since my worthless Chevrolet dealership is closed (Thank God) the second OnStar gal escalates me to an OnStar Guy (named Brandon I think) and he moves Heaven and Earth I am able to get a courtesy tow to Ranch One. I don't know how these folks did it, but a short while later, a dude in a large wrecker shows up (having the tilt bed) I get out of my Volt and tell the guy "Hey, your name must be Jumping Jack Flash."
#11. Jumping Jack Flash (actually a 25 year old guy named Michael from All Star Wrecking in Abilene, Texas) loads my Volt, drives me to ranch one (I was able to call my wife as soon as I had cell phone service again so she could have several gates open and our 11 dogs put up, Pablo out of the way (my burro who protect the goats and runs after cars, coyotes and tumble weeds) and Jumping Jack Flash unloads my Volt quickly, i pull out a large wad of cash and tell him to buy a beer after he gets off of work and if "you don't drink" take a vacation to Hawaii on me."
#12. At 43,551 miles, the original Goodyear tires look remarkable good BUT I have a large chunk of metal in the bottom of my flat tire. I decide to order MICHELIN Primacy MXM4 tires (instead of Goodyears) and I don't care if I loose 5 or so miles of range.
#13. After having purchase 5 brand new GM vehicles at the dealership in a 7 year span, and with both my wife and I being exceedingly displeased with this dealership (the same guy has about 6 other dealerships in town) we probably will never buy another GM vehicle again. I hate the fact that in my nearly 6 years of owning two Volts, that I have enjoyed very much (except on a trip to Utah and back) I don't like the fact that GM dose not advertise the Volt, that we drove to Utah and had an "issue" while in New Mexico in our Volt and that the nearest dealership who could help us was in Flagstaff, Arizona (Terry Marxen Chevrolet, who said during our desperate call for help "Sorry, our Volt Technician is booked up for the next 7 business days." I won't be buying another Volt or a Bolt (that I had planned on buying next) ...
The dealership experience has been extremely disappointing! Both of my Voits have been outstanding (except for the darned BLASTING horn on Dusty Too that even my dealership can't figure out how to stop it when I keep a spare set of keys in my briefcase...
Long story made short, Love the car, love OnStar but I hate the Chevrolet dealerships I have encountered (with the exception of Classic Chevrolet in Grapevine)... My very first car was a GM product (1958 Olds) I loved my 1970 Camaro I special ordered when I was a senior in high school, but now that I am a senior "citizen", I'll be switching to something else.