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Fresh off it's expose of the Chevy Volt, Reuters cub reporters Bernie Woodall and Ben Klaymanhas have applied their ugly math accounting method to the new Apple iPhone and declared it a dismal failure.

"Apple should just throw in the towel. After talking with industry analysts and guessing that Apple has invested $1 billion in R&D, manufacturing line buy outs, and inventory, we have determined that Apple is losing $1 billion per phone," said the Reuters Bernie Woodall. "It's actually worse, than that, as Apple has not sold a single iPhone 5," added Ben Klaymanhas. Drudge, Fox News, CNBC, USA Today are extensively re-quoting the Reuters ugly mathmen.

"We never really understood accounting in college. Still don't, too complicated. That's why we came up with our own ugly math way of figurin," said Woodall.

The Reuters scoop-makers announced that they will next look at how every McDonald's franchise is losing millions on their first Happy Meal sale. "We think business schools across the world should replace their long established business accounting methods with our "Reuters Ugly Math Accounting for Dummies by Dummies" methodology," opined Klaymanhas.

The Dean of Harvard Business School was speechless when asked to comment.


Saddly, the above comedy skit may be closer to the truth than we know given how they handled the Volt
 

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I think someone should start their own, independent news agency... maybe call it Rueters? Then you'd be free to fling these stories around as much as you'd like. Either that, or see if The Onion would be interested in hiring some freelancers.
 

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For people who enjoy parody comedy. I'm sure many have already seen it.

Disclaimer: For those that get bent out of shape easy... don't view it.

 

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For people who enjoy parody comedy. I'm sure many have already seen it.

Oh... my... god. I'm rolling! That is the funniest thing I've ever seen. I think that should be the official tagline of every Volt owner: "Fire really helps me get to my destination faster for fear of my life."

On a more somber note, I'm guessing that some people actually believe that everything in that "commercial" was true.
 

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I think someone should start their own, independent news agency... maybe call it Rueters? Then you'd be free to fling these stories around as much as you'd like. Either that, or see if The Onion would be interested in hiring some freelancers.
That's what is crazy about Reuters bend. They are a news service, not a paper, a website, or TV show. It would be like the API news service releasing a clearly biased story to hundreds of subscribing papers across the country, when the quality of the piece was fit for no more than an Opinion, or Editorial, section.

Thanks for the parody, Steverino. With any level of professional integrity, the $50,000, or $250,000 per unit claims must be seen as flat-out lies. They know better. Shame.
 
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Steverono- Outstanding bit of wit- Well done and right spot on!

Love to tweet this thread out to my followers however that antiVolt video that has been making the rounds ripping the Volt now again appears in this forum. I had thought that we had banished it some time ago- Not funny in the least- Ask that Volt owner about how his words were altered- Origional video can be found at chevroletvoltage.com.-

Will tweet out your brilliant piece onve delete is done-

Best-

Thomas j. Thias
 

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Will tweet out your brilliant piece onve delete is done-

Best-

Thomas j. Thias
Yah, I don't think I can delete someone's post based on my opinion that their linked video is another hit job by someone with a sense of humor. Feel free to repost the text of the skit if you want, though.
 

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Personally, I think GM should buy the rights to that video and start airing it. Make a couple of small changes, of course, but I think it would actually increase Volt sales. Show people that they have a sense of humor and that they aren't worried about lies and slander. Sometimes the best tool to use to put something over is to tell people how bad it is. "Oh, that? You wouldn't be interested in that." "Does it come in black?"
 
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Bob Lutz Was Right-

Ok- You are right Steveriono- Forgot again that now we have over 21,000 Volts on the road and have just passed the 125,000,000 million mile mark with almost 80,000,000- All Electric- Ya Hoo!

You all are right- The #3 post video no longer has that "Take this seriouse" effect any more. As Beb Lutz, writing for Forbes back in the spring in his colume stated wryly..." I give up- can't fight the naysayers...." .

I did notice, however that both Bob Lutz and Steverino did indeed.have a field day with the Ruitier writers- Heck, even that crusty, ornery guy over at Jalopnick took a shot at em....lol-

PS- I just dropped $ 10,000,000 on an oil well- She's apumping! Wanna buy the first barrell for $10,000,000?
 

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Hey, I'll take the 4th one at $2,000,000..................a bargoon, since you haven't brokin' even yet!
 
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